Dock
Resource Kit
Sunday sermon, 21 June 2026
Summary
This week Brigid talked to us about wisdom in our speech, working through Proverbs 12:15-25 in our Growing in Wisdom series. She showed that because we are made in the image of a God who speaks, our words carry real power; for life or for death. Brigid taught that wise speech is truthful, restrained and life-giving. Drawing on Jesus’ words that “the mouth speaks what the heart is full of” (Matthew 12:34), she explained that our speech is diagnostic of our hearts, so lasting change comes not from trying harder but through the transforming work of Jesus and the Holy Spirit.
Key Points & Takeways
We speak because we bear the image of a speaking God - The Bible begins with God speaking creation into being, and he continues to speak through promises, warnings, comfort and ultimately through Jesus, the Word made flesh; our words echo something of his character..
Words carry the power of life and death - Proverbs describes the tongue as a fountain of life and choice silver, but warns that “the words of the reckless pierce like swords” (Proverbs 12:18); unlike an animal’s tongue, which can do no harm and no good, the human tongue has a unique capacity to build up or to wound.
Wise speech is truthful - “An honest witness tells the truth, but a false witness tells lies” (Proverbs 12:17); Jesus says he is “the way, the truth and the life” (John 14:6) and that abiding in his word sets us free (John 8:31–32), so truthful speech is not just morally right but spiritually freeing.
Wise speech is restrained - Proverbs warns that “when words are many, sin is not absent” (Proverbs 10:19) and that the one who “speaks in haste” is more foolish than a fool (Proverbs 29:20); wisdom in speach is truthful words spoken at the right time.
Wise speech is life-giving - Proverbs says “the mouth of the righteous is a fountain of life” and that “a kind word cheers” an anxious heart (Proverbs 12:25); the story of Kelly’s WhatsApp voice note, which helped lead Kieran and his family to faith, shows how a well-timed word can change the course of a whole family’s life.
Our words reveal our hearts - Jesus says “the mouth speaks what the heart is full of” (Matthew 12:34), and Proverbs links the tongue of the wise to the heart of the wise. James says no human being can tame the tongue, and left to ourselves we keep returning to the same patterns of anger, gossip and careless words; we don’t try harder to say nicer things, we need heart transformation.
Jesus bears and heals our sinful speech - At the cross, Jesus carries every lie and cruel word we’ve spoken; he also heals the wounds left by words spoken over us, answering every false label: “you are worthless,” “you are beyond hope,” with his truth: “you are loved,” “I am making all things new.”
Transformation comes through the Spirit as we dwell on Jesus’ words - When we listen to Jesus above culture, social media, fear, or comparison; the Holy Spirit reshapes our hearts, softening anger and growing wisdom, so that our speech begins to change too.
Our words shape our communities, and Jesus’ words are the ones worth following — “Through the blessing of the upright a city is exalted” (Proverbs 11:11); echoing Peter’s words in John 6:68, “Lord, to whom shall we go? You have the words of eternal life,” we must let Jesus’ voice become louder than every other, so that homes, friendships and churches are marked by truth, grace and life.
Dock Discussion Questions
Brigid said the average person speaks about 16,000 words a day. Thinking honestly about your conversations this past week, have your words tended more towards building people up, or towards complaint, criticism or gossip?
Brigid said “the mouth speaks what the heart is full of” (Matthew 12:34) and that our speech is diagnostic of what’s going on inside us: like the example of gossip revealing a desire to feel superior or in control. Is there a pattern in your own speech that might be pointing to something deeper in your heart?
Brigid contrasted the cow’s tongue, which can do no harm and no good, with the human tongue’s unique power to wound or to heal. Can you think of words spoken to you, or by you, that fall into each category?
Of the three marks of wise speech Brigid named — truthful, restrained, life-giving — which do you find hardest, and why? Does wisdom call you to more courage to speak up, or more courage to stay quiet?
Brigid told the story of Kelly’s WhatsApp voice note helping lead Kieran’s family to faith. What’s one practical step you could take this week; a conversation to have, a habit to change, or a person to encourage, that might allow your words bring life to someone around you?
Long-form, edited transcript
Growing in Wisdom.
Wisdom in Speech.
Proverbs 12:15-25
Introduction: Growing in Wisdom
It’s good to be speaking today in our next instalment on Proverbs. This series is all about growing in wisdom.
Why do we want to look at that together as a church? It all links to our vision: to make disciples, transform communities and plant churches.
Back in March, at our Big Spring Weekend Away, Phil, our rector, spoke to us about growth. We want to grow in depth of discipleship, grow in impact as we minister to the people we meet, and grow in number as we share the good news of Jesus, seeing more people become disciples, seeing communities transformed, and being prepared for all that’s next in planting churches.
All of that starts with our hearts being in tune with what God is already doing to build his kingdom, with the decisions we make each day, the way we navigate conversations, the way we spend our money, and how we approach work.
The book of Proverbs is there to help us navigate that, to give us wisdom as we seek to follow Jesus with every part of our lives, so that we are the kind of people God can build his kingdom through.
Over the last two weeks, Michael has taken us through some introductions to Proverbs. First, we saw that the foundation of wisdom is found in the fear of the Lord; wisdom is found when we live in right relationship with God, a relationship characterised by trust. Second, we saw that Proverbs sets out two paths, the way of wisdom and the way of folly, and we are offered a choice: which will we choose?
Over the next few weeks, we’re going to look at particular topics found in Proverbs. Today: speech.
So often wisdom, or indeed folly, is heard most clearly in how we speak. The average person says around 16,000 words each day — that’s 5.5 million words a year, and 500–700 million over the course of a lifetime. That’s a lot of words. And we have more opportunities than ever before to share our words, our thoughts and our opinions with more people, through the internet.
So how do we choose which words to listen to, and which to speak? How do we exercise wisdom in this?
Proverbs 12:15-25
15 The way of fools seems right to them,
but the wise listen to advice.
16 Fools show their annoyance at once,
but the prudent overlook an insult.
17 An honest witness tells the truth,
but a false witness tells lies.
18 The words of the reckless pierce like swords,
but the tongue of the wise brings healing.
19 Truthful lips endure forever,
but a lying tongue lasts only a moment.
20 Deceit is in the hearts of those who plot evil,
but those who promote peace have joy.
21 No harm overtakes the righteous,
but the wicked have their fill of trouble.
22 The Lord detests lying lips,
but he delights in people who are trustworthy.
23 The prudent keep their knowledge to themselves,
but a fool’s heart blurts out folly.
24 Diligent hands will rule,
but laziness ends in forced labor.
25 Anxiety weighs down the heart,
but a kind word cheers it up.
We Worship a God Who Speaks
We worship a God who speaks. The Bible begins with God speaking. God says, “Let there be light,” and there is light.
It’s the first thing God does, and he continues speaking; promises, warnings, comfort, truth. Through God’s words he creates. Through God’s words he teaches his people how to live. God reveals his character through his words and the way he speaks. He saves humanity through a gospel that is proclaimed, spoken. And ultimately he speaks through Jesus’ life, death and resurrection: the Word made flesh.
Speech isn’t something we do by accident. We speak because we are made in the image of a speaking God. God spoke, and the universe was formed. Jesus spoke, and people were healed, forgiven and transformed.
Our words don’t carry that same authority, but they do carry remarkable power, because they reflect something of the God whose image we bear. Proverbs expresses this time and again throughout the book, mouths, speech, lips and words are mentioned over a hundred times.
Words Have Power
Proverbs uses striking imagery to describe speech. In the passage we read earlier, the words of the reckless pierce like swords, but the tongue of the wise brings healing. In other places, the mouth of the righteous and wise is described as a fountain of life, or choice silver. Proverbs tells us that words carry the power of life and death. They can build and destroy relationships, create and destroy trust, heal and create wounds.
A few years ago I went on holiday with a big group of friends from university. When we arrived, we did a big food shop. Unbeknownst to the rest of us, while most of us were doing sensible shopping, my friend Joe went to the reduced section, you know, in the fridges at the end of the day, and bought a little slab of ox tongue.
He slipped this bit of ox tongue into the trolley, and it made it back to where we were staying without anyone noticing. You can imagine the horror when someone went to make sandwiches the next day! Various different people were dared to eat this tongue, but I think it ended up in the bin, because everyone decided it was just too gross.
But here’s the thing about a cow’s tongue, or any other animal’s, for that matter. It might feel ugly to some of us, but a cow’s tongue has never said a cruel word, never hurt someone with a thoughtless joke, never mocked, never gossiped, never lied. But it also hasn’t encouraged someone on a bad day, offered words of hope into a dark situation, given inspiration and motivation, or spoken out for justice.
The human tongue has a unique place in creation. Stephen Foster, a vicar in Oxford, frames it beautifully: he says we have a ‘vocal fingerprint.’ The way we form and articulate our words is unique. You have something to say that no one else can say.
Part of what it means to bear God’s image is that we communicate. We speak, we create, we reveal ourselves through words. And because we bear God’s image, we reveal God too. The power of speech is an extraordinary gift from God, laced with divine potential.
We can probably all remember words spoken years ago that still affect us today, perhaps a teacher who believed in you, a parent who encouraged you, a friend who spoke hope into your life at exactly the right moment. Or perhaps words that wounded, words that undermined your confidence, words that still echo in your mind years later.
That phrase, ‘sticks and stones may break my bones, but words will never hurt me,’ frankly, that’s rubbish. Many of us know words can leave wounds far deeper than physical injuries. Words matter.
Many of the things we build in life take years; a marriage, a friendship, a career, a church community. Yet sometimes all it takes is a few seconds to say words that might influence a life. Words can be hilarious. Words can blow wind into somebody’s sails. Or words can cause untold damage.
Proverbs doesn’t leave us wondering what that wisdom sounds like. It gives us a picture of wise speech in action, many characteristics, with different poetic wordings, but I want to focus on three.
Wise Speech Is Truthful
Our passage from earlier begins:
An honest witness tells the truth, but a false witness tells lies.
— Proverbs 12:17
Throughout Proverbs, wisdom is consistently linked with truthfulness. Lying, deception, slander and false witness are repeatedly condemned as foolish. If we think of those two paths; wisdom or folly, truthfulness is necessary for wisdom.
Humanity has always searched for truth. Philosophers, scientists, artists and ordinary people alike have wrestled with the same questions: what is true? What can I build my life on?
Jesus could not have been clearer. In John 14 he says:
I am the way, the truth and the life.
— John 14:6
Truth is not ultimately a concept. Truth is a person.
Humanity has repeatedly replaced truth with lies, or half-truths, or imitations of the truth. We suppress the truth. We distort the truth. We reshape reality around ourselves. But wisdom begins by aligning ourselves with reality as God defines it. That is what reveals the truth.
Speaking the truth matters because it reflects God’s character to the world. Each truthful word we speak is a small act of alignment with the God of truth and the reality he has made. It matters in our conversations, our relationships, our workplaces, our church — even when it costs us.
So when Jesus says:
If you abide in my word, you are truly my disciples, and you will know the truth, and the truth will set you free.
— John 8:31–32
He is not speaking about truth as an abstract idea, but a way of life shaped by his word. And that connects directly to what Proverbs has been saying all along: wise speech is truthful speech. A false witness is foolish because it resists reality, but the wise person speaks in line with it.
Jesus takes that even deeper. He says truth is not only something we speak, but something we abide in. We live in it, and we are shaped by it. And as we do, something changes in us: we begin to speak differently; more honestly, more carefully, less driven by fear, image or self-protection.
Because if we are being set free by the truth, we no longer need to use words to manipulate reality or defend ourselves. We can speak truthfully, even when it costs us.
That is the link between wisdom and freedom. Truthful speech is not just morally right, it is spiritually freeing. It reflects a life that is no longer bound by lies, but grounded in Christ, who is the truth.
Wise Speech Is Restrained
When words are many, sin is not absent, but the prudent hold their tongues.
— Proverbs 10:19
The fool is often characterised not by saying terrible things, but by saying too many things. Proverbs repeatedly warns against impulsive speech, quarrelsome speech and hasty speech. One proverb says:
Do you see someone who speaks in haste? There is more hope for a fool than for them.
— Proverbs 29:20
Wisdom knows when to speak. But wisdom also knows when not to speak.
I wonder if that wisdom looks different depending on our personalities. If you’re naturally cautious or conflict-avoidant, wisdom may require speaking up when truth needs to be spoken. But if you’re naturally outspoken or provocative, wisdom may require greater restraint. Some of us need courage to speak. Some of us need courage to stay silent. Both are forms of wisdom.
There’s a reason James, in his New Testament teaching, compares the tongue to a rudder steering a ship. It’s tiny, yet it directs so much of life. Your tongue is just 0.1% of your body weight, and yet it has so much power. It needs using well.
Proverbs even gets a bit humorous about this. It says:
If anyone loudly blesses their neighbour early in the morning, it will be taken as a curse.
— Proverbs 27:14
My neighbours are sat over there, so you can ask them how they feel about the blessings I’ve been shouting out the windows at 6am in preparation for this sermon!
Even well-meant words, spoken at the wrong time or in the wrong way, can do damage. So wisdom learns timing. It learns tone. It learns silence. And in doing so, it reflects the God who is never careless with his words, who speaks what is true, when it is needed, and in love.
Wise Speech Is Life-Giving
This is perhaps the most beautiful emphasis in Proverbs.
The mouth of the righteous is a fountain of life. (Proverbs 10:11)
The lips of the righteous nourish many. (Proverbs 10:21)
The tongue of the wise brings healing. (Proverbs 12:18)
Anxiety weighs down the heart, but a kind word cheers it up. (Proverbs 12:25)
Pleasant words are a honeycomb, sweet to the soul and healing to the bones. (Proverbs 16:24)
Wise speech doesn’t merely avoid harm. It actively brings life. It encourages. It comforts. It strengthens. It teaches. It reconciles. It promotes peace.
We all know people whose words make us feel stronger after we’ve spoken with them, not because they flatter us, not because they avoid hard truths, but because they speak with wisdom, grace and kindness. Wisdom isn’t simply saying true things. It’s saying true things lovingly, appropriately and at the right time.
Proverbs says:
A word aptly spoken is like apples of gold in settings of silver.
— Proverbs 25:11
The right word at the right time can change a person’s day, sometimes even their life.
Many of you will know the incredible Kelly, who is part of our church community, who leads our Tower Tots groups and the Baby Bank here at SPS. But what you might not know is that Kelly was able to bring someone to a new faith in Jesus via a voice note.
If you’ve been part of either of the last couple of Alpha courses here, you might have met Kieran or Vicky, or seen their kids now on a Sunday. Last year, Kieran had a series of strange experiences that led him to wonder about the Jesus he’d just started reading about in the gospels. He reached out to the only Christian he knew, his wife Vicky’s best friend, Kelly. He sent Kelly an eleven-minute voice note on WhatsApp asking a whole list of questions, which Kelly replied to. Long story short, we’ve been able to launch Kieran and Vicky and their family from Alpha here out into their local church in Essex with their newfound faith.
Here’s a bit of his story:
Since all of this, I’ve come to understand that I have a very real calling. I don’t pretend to have it all figured out, but I do know that there is work for me to do. I have a strong sense that God is using me, and that right now I am exactly where I need to be on this journey.
My discipleship continues, with me and my family now setting down roots at St Michael & All Angels Church in Leigh-on-Sea, Essex, so that we can really get to work and serve closer to where we live. I’m also now studying theology part time.
One of the greatest blessings in all of this has been seeing my wife and family become part of church life as well. Faith hasn’t taken me away from them — it has brought us closer together. Watching my wife attend an Alpha course herself, led by Kelly at SPS, has been a beautiful thing to witness. It reminds me that this journey isn’t just mine. It belongs to our whole family.
Looking back now, I can see that the emptiness I once felt wasn’t a problem to be fixed. It was more of an invitation — a quiet call to look beyond myself and search for something deeper.
What started with a borrowed Bible, a long, excitable voice note to Kelly, and an Alpha sign-up turned into a journey of faith, a pilgrimage, finding purpose and direction. And while I don’t know exactly where the road leads from here, I do know this: God has been faithful every step of the way, and he is still at work.
A well-timed, life-giving word, via Kelly and a WhatsApp voice note, has changed the course of an entire family’s life. Do not underestimate what God can do through your listening ear and your wise words.
Words Reveal the Heart
Proverbs, and in fact much of the Bible, tells us our words aren’t just words. They come out of the overflow of our hearts.
The tongue of the righteous is choice silver, but the heart of the wicked is of little worth. (Proverbs 10:20)
The lips of the wise spread knowledge, but the hearts of fools do not. (Proverbs 15:7)
In Proverbs, speech and the heart are inseparable. Words are not random. They are the overflow of what is already inside us. Jesus makes exactly the same point. Confronting the religious leaders in Matthew 12, he says:
Make a tree good and its fruit will be good, or make a tree bad and its fruit will be bad, for a tree is recognized by its fruit. You brood of vipers, how can you who are evil say anything good? For the mouth speaks what the heart is full of.
— Matthew 12:33–34
“The mouth speaks what the heart is full of.” A tree is recognised by its fruit. Fruit doesn’t create the tree; it reveals the tree. That means our words are diagnostic. They tell us something about the condition of our hearts.
If bitterness continually comes out of my mouth, there is bitterness somewhere in my heart. If anger constantly spills over, the issue is deeper than vocabulary. If gossip repeatedly appears in my conversations, I need to ask what is happening beneath the surface.
Take gossip. I heard a story the other day about someone who received a text from a friend, which started with their full name, the full name of the one receiving the text. Let’s call them Anna. So Anna receives this text that says ‘Anna,’ followed by a list of opinions about Anna. Quite a strange text to receive.
It turned out that the person who’d sent the text had been at a party, and Anna’s name had come up. Their phone had voice activation switched on, so when it heard Anna’s name, it dictated everything they said about her and sent it straight to her. Our phones are working against us now!
Proverbs repeatedly warns about the damage gossip causes, it’s a classic description of foolish speech in Proverbs. Often the question isn’t whether what I’m saying is true. The deeper question is why I’m saying it. Am I trying to elevate myself by diminishing someone else? Am I trying to gain approval, control a narrative, feel superior? Gossip is often a window into desires that are operating beneath the surface.
The same is true of false flattery, complaining, harsh words, or constant criticism. The tongue reveals the heart.
Which means this isn’t ultimately a sermon about trying harder to say nicer things. Proverbs is not advising behaviour modification alone — it indicates that we need heart transformation. Because when the heart changes, the words begin to change as well. That’s why Proverbs says:
Above all else, guard your heart.
— Proverbs 4:23
The battle for our speech is won or lost long before the words reach our lips.
So in those moments when you notice words that are cruel or cutting or harsh coming out of your mouth, are we brave enough to ask ourselves what’s going on in our hearts? Do we trust in God’s kind, clear character to help heal the broken bits of our hearts, so that our mouths might pour out wisdom?
Proverbs teaches that the heart shapes speech. But speech also reinforces what is already in the heart. The complaints we rehearse deepen dissatisfaction. The resentments we repeat become stronger. The gossip we spread strengthens unhealthy attitudes. And if speech reveals the heart, wisdom alone cannot solve the problem. We need something deeper.
Transformation Comes Through Jesus and the Spirit
James says that no human being can tame the tongue. Left to ourselves, we keep returning to the same patterns: the same anger, the same gossip, the same careless words, the same attempts to impress, wound or defend ourselves. We need help from outside ourselves.
And that’s exactly what Jesus came to do. Jesus is the wisdom of God made flesh. Where we have spoken words of death, he spoke words of life. Where we have distorted the truth, he is the truth. Where we have wounded others with our speech, he used his words to heal, restore and forgive.
At the cross, Jesus bears not only our sinful actions but our sinful speech, every lie, every cruel word, every careless comment. His forgiveness reaches all of it.
But Jesus doesn’t stop with forgiveness. He also heals. Some of us carry words that were spoken over us years ago, words that have shaped how we see ourselves, words that told us we were unwanted, unlovable, foolish, weak, insignificant or beyond redemption.
Yet the voice of Jesus is greater than every false word that has been spoken over us. His word is truth. Where others say, ‘You are worthless,’ Jesus says, ‘You are loved.’ Where others say, ‘You are beyond hope,’ Jesus says, ‘I am making all things new.’
The words of Jesus have authority to break the power of lies, because he is the truth. He invites us to measure every other voice against his voice. Every accusation, every label, every narrative we have come to believe about ourselves must ultimately bow before what Jesus says is true.
Transformation comes through the work of the Holy Spirit. It comes as we dwell on God’s words until they begin shaping our own words. It comes as we listen to Jesus until his voice becomes louder than all the competing voices around us, the voices of culture, the voices of social media, the voices of fear and insecurity, the voices of criticism and comparison.
And through the Holy Spirit, that truth begins to reshape us. As we listen to Jesus and dwell on his words, he changes our hearts, softening anger, exposing pride, growing wisdom, and as our hearts change, our speech begins to change too.
Wise speech ultimately flows from a heart that is being made wise by Jesus. The goal of Proverbs is not simply that we become people who say better things. It is that we become people who know Jesus so deeply that his truth, his wisdom and his life begin to overflow from us into the lives of others. As we dwell on his words, we become people whose words increasingly reflect his character, truthful, gracious, healing and full of life.
Perhaps that’s why Peter’s words in John 6 are so striking. After many people had walked away from Jesus, Jesus turns to his disciples and asks, ‘You do not want to leave too, do you?’ Peter responds:
Lord, to whom shall we go? You have the words of eternal life.
- John 6:68
In a world full of voices, Peter recognises that only one voice ultimately leads to life.
At the centre of everything Proverbs is teaching us is Jesus, embodying it perfectly. Jesus speaks truth perfectly. Jesus knows exactly when to remain silent and exactly when to speak. His words healed the sick, forgave sinners, calmed storms, restored the broken, raised the dead.
And the transformation that Jesus brings doesn’t stop with us.
Through the blessing of the upright a city is exalted, but by the mouth of the wicked it is destroyed.
- Proverbs 11:11
Our words help shape the culture around us. They shape marriages. They shape families. They shape friendships. They shape churches. They shape neighbourhoods. They shape cities.
So imagine what happens when a church is filled with people whose hearts are being transformed by Jesus. Imagine homes marked by encouragement rather than criticism. Friendships marked by honesty and grace. A church culture where people consistently speak truth, wisdom and life into one another.
As we dwell on the words of Jesus, we are set free by his words to speak our own words of truth and wisdom. We become people whose speech reflects the God who speaks, and whose words bring life wherever he places us.
Closing
Jesus already knows every word you’ve ever spoken, and every word spoken over you — the good ones, the regretted ones. He knows all of it. And he invites you to come to him: to listen to him, to dwell on his words, to allow his truth to shape your heart. And as he does, he enables us to become people whose words increasingly reflect his wisdom.
May we be people who listen carefully to the words of Jesus, and who are set free by his words to speak words of truth, wisdom and life. May you be mindful that your words have power. May you be unwavering in your commitment to speaking the truth in love, even when it’s hard, and when it costs you. May you offer the world only words that build others up, and may you build all the most important things in your life on God’s truth.
Closing Prayer
Dear Lord,
We thank you that you are a speaking God, and we thank you for speaking to us today through your word. Lord help us to focus on Jesus and in the strength of your spirit enable us to speak words of truth, that are timely and bring life.
Forgive us Lord for the sinful words we have spoken, heal us from the pain of sinful words spken over us, break the chains of lies spoken over us.
In Jesus name
Amen.